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'Maddie and I came to Yorkshire Fertility in autumn 2019. The wonderful Helen took our first appointment. This was pre-Covid. In some ways a different world then, and little were we to know how many twists and turns were to come, having done very little research, operating only on the blind faith of knowing we were meant to be Mums somehow. So, this story has been over 5 years in the writing, and as I said to Gemma, we’ve been coming to the clinic for so long now, I really am surprised we haven’t been invited to the staff Christmas meal. 

IVF is (sadly) so often a story of failure and despair, and I wanted to share this as a story of hope and tribute to the unbelievable dignity and person-centred care shown to us throughout our treatment cycles by the staff at Yorkshire Fertility (our primary staff being Gemma, Helen and Mr Chaudhari but the whole team need mentioning!) our fortunes also turned when we chose Manchester Fertility for our final treatment cycle, but the care we’ve had from our core staff at the clinic needs public recognition. 

I am delighted to share that we now have a daughter thanks to the miracle of shared motherhood IVF, and the utter selflessness of my unbelievable partner Maddie who wished to give me the experience of pregnancy and birth after much personal failure and heartbreak in previous cycles. 

Beatrice Kathryn (my Mum) Barbara (Maddie’s mum) Falson-Wright made her way into this world very quickly in the end on just a few paracetamol and gas and air (me, not her) at 253 am on August 23 2024. She weighed 7 lb 2 and came out with an absolutely massive belting cry. 

Her name means ‘blessed one’ and is also rather regal and we knew it suited her as soon as we saw her. She also carries the spirit of both our wonderful mums (mine no longer here to meet her) which we hope to be able to instil in her as she grows. 

We faced hurdle after hurdle on this journey. Covid delays. Blood test after blood test after blood test. Poor response to medication. Scan after scan. Literally hundreds of appointments. Twists in the road like you would not believe. New information. Legislation changes. 3-hour paperwork appointments for every cycle. Counselling appointments. Huge decisions to make. Endless sharpies boxes. New Medication protocols. OHSS. BMI too high. You name it. After 4/5 failed rounds with me, this was our absolute last try via the shared motherhood protocol and a chance to turn things around thanks to the unbelievable generosity of the people I’ve mentioned. 

We’ve been given this chance at motherhood thanks to science, perseverance and the persistence and kindness of others. And the willingness to adapt and provide person centred care without judgement but also without false hope from this truly wonderful team of caring professionals in Halifax. 

I sincerely hope this post inspires those that read it. There’s always another way to get where you need to be, even in your darkest times and when you can’t see the path out, as I just couldn’t. As Elizabeth Day said to me in a post (in words I’ve never forgotten) after my/our 3rd failure: 

“The grief and the dashed hopes are exhausting. Your life is valid, and your strength and wisdom can only have grown from what you've been through. This will one day make you an incredible parent, in whatever form it comes to you.”

Little did I know when she wrote that in 2021 that I’d be re sharing it with a sleeping little baby girl on my chest having come to parenthood in this different form. We have you all in Halifax to thank for this and you are literally changing the direction of people’s lives with the work you do. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for giving us our little girl and treating us with compassion and dignity throughout our convoluted journey to get here. 

Jennifer and Maddie (and baby Beatrice) 

September 2024.